Fisayo Ogundoro speaks on sexual purity

Are we all in a box with sexual purity?

Last Sunday, I went hiking with my friend. On our way back home, we began discussing relationships and the challenge of sexual purity.

This kind of conversation is becoming extinct. Maybe? Many think conversations like this are familiar among the “Spirikokos” or SU sisters and brothers. Well, probably, you could as well refer to me as one for this discussion.

So here is what I have noticed about sexual purity

We the millennials find the place of sexual purity as an oddity. Today, most people believe in the norm. “So long he (She) is your boyfriend (girlfriend), you can give your bodies to one another.” Some even buttress by saying, “a lot of people are happily married today, even though they had premarital sex and aborted pregnancies before being legally married.” After all, we need to express our intimacy and love for our boyfriends, girlfriends, and fiancé(e)s.

However, in this discussion, the challenge is not with the change in social norms and how adaptive we are to the trends. Rather, the challenge is with young men and women who want to keep the bed undefiled.

I must confess, this is a real struggle!

Having conversations with some friends a while ago, I  came to a conclusion that it is difficult to find men who are 100% gunning for sexual purity. The same goes for women. But for those who want to abide and live a sexually pure life before marriage, what then, should be our resolve?

I believe this should be done

To avoid the box and not follow the “norm,” there are certain conversations we must have with our boyfriends, girlfriends, or fiancé(e)s before we agree to court or date. Before these conservations, promising and committing to oneself is the first step. As Daniel in the Holy Bible said, I have purposed in my heart to not defile myself with the King’s meat, we can also say same to maintaining sexual purity.This is because it would help us to be steadfast even at the slightest provocation.


Then proceed by questioning his or her take regarding sexual purity. We need to be sure that the person we are planning to be in a relationship with is on the same page with us before we agree to proceed.


In Conlcusion,

Aligning with the principles of sexual purity could be tough in this age and time. But it takes our commitment, obedience, and steadfastness. Above all, we need the grace of God to doing this.

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Joyce Olawunmi


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  • Fisayo you are very right. But I have personally found an easier means to face the struggle. To be honest and God is my witness, sexual urges does not respect being born again, but the expression is dependent on how well one is intimate with God on personal fellowship base.

    Our love and naked talk to God on this can go a long way in staying pure.
    For instance, telling God as a loving father he is…Father anytime I see Fisayo( permission hijacked to use your name)my head always go skrrrrrrrrrr…please help me to see her as my sister that she is, not as an object of response to urges…help me to love her in deed as you do…

    And the other side is that there are times, that it is sincere loving expression that want to lead to bodily expressions, from romance to on and on…but open conversation with the Father that you know loves you completely can help. And this is the kind of answer I have got…No matter how genuine your appetite for food is, can you consider stealing food? So you wait for the normal and godly way to satisfy it too. Though very hard…but God won’t leave you without Grace.

    Love is stronger than lust. And giving ones bodies in sex or romance outside of marriage is never love’s expression.

    Let me conclude by your words that one need grace to stay pure so that one can give oneself to his/her spouse in all loving manners imaginable and unimaginable after I do.

    • Well said, the place of tête à tête with the father plays a significant role. As the Bible says, we commune with the father like friends with friend.

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